Ok, it's been a while since I last updated, so be prepared for a long one.

My last entry, or maybe the one before, was about the incident with Hayley and her drugged-up (now ex) bf. That's right, she's done with him for good. He's now back with his wife and she's getting her life back on track. You could say that I'm proud of her for that, because I am. She turned into an alcoholic and was even getting back onto the drugs, from what I had heard. I knew it would happen, but she wouldn't listen. Anyway, she's clean, now, so that's in the past. When I first saw her after the events of that fortnight, I was nervous. I hadn't seen her for about 6 weeks, and I was actually beginning to miss her and Leo. When I saw her, it was at our mates (the couple comprising of my best mate and Hayley's) where we always have fun. There was a few instances when there was just me, Hayley and Leo, and it seemed as though nothing had changed.

Before I saw Hayley again, I had a girlfriend, Kate, for about 3 weeks. We met because of the "I'm swearing off women" phase I went through after the incident with Hayley. She helped me through some things and I changed from swearing off women to letting things happen on their own. It wasn't entirely Kate, her friend Melissa is the one responsible for getting us talking a lot more than we did. From there, our friendship bloomed (it's the only way I can describe it). Soon, people started expecting to see us both together and felt weird when one of us was around with the other. All this happened pretty quickly, me and Kate were talking more about two days after the thing with Hayley. As our friendship developed, casual flirting became commonplace with us. A week or so later, we made things official. When we told people, they were not in the least suprised. In a sense, they knew before me or Kate did.

Things were going great with Kate for a while, and I was the happiest I had been for a while. Unlike our friendship, our relationship didn't grow; but it didn't matter, rushing things wasn't a very good idea. It would've ruined what we had, and I didn't want that. Her ex wasn't being very helpful, though. He didn't know about me and Kate, and the only thing I have ever said to him was "give her a hug from me" when Kate was in hospital after having a miscarriage (this was before me and Kate got to gether.) He was being over zealous about wanting her back, and she was beginning to get scared of him. The only reason he's still around is because Kate didn't want me to go and... pay him a visit *shifty eyes* I respected her wishes and kept my distance from him. Her parents were the real problem; they were starting to give her hassle because she was seeing someone 6 years older than her. I had never met them, but they wouldn't have liked me, anyway, because I didn't meet their standards (they're both chefs and I can't cook my way through a basic meal). It eventually got to the point where she felt she had to end it. As soon as she said those words, I knew it was over with no chance of getting her back; I just didn't want to believe it. Because I didn't want to lose her, I was trying to convince her that she didn't need to; i told her that I'd be happy to meet her parents. I have no doubt that I could've won them over, somehow. Afterall, I have been told that I can charm the knickers off a prude... not too sure I'd agree with the way it's put, personally. Unfortunately, Kate wasn't convinced. I didn't try for long, because I had spoken to Melissa about what happened; though she didn't seem as interested in helping me as she was with Hayley. She suggested that I give her time and space, which is what I had already decided to do. After a few weeks of barely talking to her, I started testing the waters to see if there was any chance we could at least talk about what happened. She seemed apologetic and said that we would talk soon; a few days later she stopped going on MSN... or so I thought. We went back to barely talking. Since then, Melissa has become slightly mostile with her words towards me, and it's become blatantly obvious that Kate is two-faced. Other people have turned against me because of her, too. A short while later, I realised I didn't care anymore.

Lately, though, it's been rough. Last week, it was the 3 year anniversary of one of best mate's death. I wrote about it this time last year. It also became evident that I was the last of my school friends to settle down; and, of course, things have become unbearable at home. I can no longer stay here without being affected by what goes on. When I'm away from here, nothing bothers me; but when I'm here, I have no defences.  I'm still without a job, so I'm finding things worse because I'm at home all the time.

Anyway, I believe I've gone on long enough. Sorry it wasn't more cheerful, but there's nothing good enough to mention. Hopefully things will improve, soon.

Me and Hayley (mentioned in the previous entry) met at my best mates Halloween party. Not much to tell about it, except that it was fun. We didn't really do much talking on the night, but the following day we got to talking about the things we're interested in. It was at this point that I found out she was into writing, as well. She wants to get published, just like I do. She gave me her email address so I could add her to my Facebook. From there, we went to MSN/WLM. Unfortunately, we didn't talk all that much at this point.

It wasn't until the new year that we really started talking. We were amazed to find out just how much we have in common. We decided that we were going to write a book together, which meant that we'd have to spend a lot of time with each other. This wasn't a problem and we've quickly become very good friends. The first weekend I spent round hers, we had a lot of fun. Most of the time we were celebrating the fact that we had got together to write a story. We got some planning done, done a bit of research into our content. Sadly, there wasn't enough time, and I went home the next day. That night I went out, and ended up going out with Amanda... we all know how that turned out. The following week, I was back over Hayley's going through the same routine, lol. Still, we did get further on our book, which is the main thing.

Since that weekend, I hadn't been able to go over to see her and work on the book. Unfortunately, I was too busy doing things with Amanda. We still spoke online, but it wasn't the same. We couldn't work too well on a book together over the internet. We've made plans to go to some quiet places to work solidly on our book, without any distractions. She's suggested Scotland, and I'm up for that. The last time I spoke to her online, was the day before I went to see her, last, when I made a spur of the moment decision to go and see her the next day (as told in my last entry).

So there we have it, a little history on me and Hayley.

Next time... I'll try make and entry that isn't just a filler, lol.

Here goes; I'm going to try and write this entry omitting details that I'm not at liberty to talk about.

Last Saturday (It actually started before then, but that will come in a different entry), I was talking to my friend Hayley. Hayley and me are writing a book together and haven't had chance to work on it in the last couple of months for one reason or another (details in another entry). Anyway, we were talking about me going over there again the weekend just gone. Out of the blue, I decided that I would go over the next day. She was happy about this because she likes it when I go over because we have fun and get some work done.

When I got there, I met her and our mates and we went into town. After spending some time around town, getting food etc, we made our way back to our mates, where we stayed until late. Before we left our mates, our plans for me to be over for the night gradually increased to involve me being there for most of the week. I wasn't prepared for this, but I didn't let that bother me. We went back to Hayley's late at night, her daughter was asleep so she went straight to bed. We stayed up and watched a film on the sofa. We were cuddled up, but that's because we were cold. It was nice, though, I've not cuddled up with anyone to watch a film in a long time.

The next day, Monday, we got our stuff together and made our way to our mates; which invloved getting off the bus at the wrong stop because she needed to go to the doctors, walking a mile with bags splitting, smooth-talking another bus driver into letting us get on with a buggy when their buggy bays were full; not to mention the bags that were on the verge of splitting and getting off at yet another wrong stop because we misjudged the distance from our mates, lol.

Once we got there, the fun started, and I do mean fun in the literal sense. Hayley had been, and was still, ill but she managed to have fun along with the rest of us. There was much Wii playing, watching of Moonlight (a new Vampire series with a difference) and laughter. We stayed at our mates on the Monday night but parted ways for the Tuesday night. Due to the lack of room, we shared a "bed" (me, Hayley and Leona (her daughter)) and by bed I mean floor, lol. Because she had been ill, and showed no signs of recovering, I had been looking after her since the moment I arrived. I wasn't asked to, I wanted to because she would do the same thing for me. As we laid in "bed" catching up on Moonlight, she turns to me and says "thank you". I smiled and, simply, said to her "What for?" and she says "everything". Everything is a bit vague, but the thanks wasn't neccessary.

Tuesday happened pretty much the same as Monday, with one difference. At about 9 pm, me and my best mate went to his place to stay the night, touch up on the decorating, demolish his XB360 with 2 butter knives, a potatoe peeler and a Katana, listen to music, have a few drinks, watch a film, eventually sleep and take some bits back to his girlfriend's in the morning. That was a fun night. And now I know why the rum is always gone... I drank it. That rum was about a year old, so it could strip paint. We had intended on doing some meditation, but that never happened for one reason or another. We didn't get to bed until nearly 7 am, but we got up and back to his GFs in time for lunch.

Wednesday was pretty much the same as Monday, much fun to be had. Hayley was still ill, so I continued looking after her. All the while I was looking after her, I was also there for Leona, who would quite often be naughty. I had tested the waters as far as discipline went and my methods were fine. I know that if I overstepped the mark, Hayley would say something to me. I would've let Hayley do it herself, but with her being ill she couldn't handle it. Leona has a habit of throwing herself on the floor when she doesn't get her own way, but she does it quietly, unlike most kids I know. Here, I do one of two things 1. I pretend to trip over her, causing her to break out of her "strop" and start laughing. This results in me having to keep tripping over her for the next few minutes, but it works. 2. If she isn't quiet about it, I pick her up and put her on my knee and talk to her in a low, calm voice, in spite of her crying, literally, in my face. She does calm down enough for me to talk to her eventually, not that talking got me anywhere. She would try to distract me. At times, she was blatantly disobedient which required firmer methods. I dealt these out to her, too. Not once did I raise my voice or my hand, showing that discipline can be achieved through less harmful means. Hayley was greatful for this, also. Wednesday night, we stayed there again and Thursday carried on the same as the rest of the week.

Unfortunately, Thursday is when I left to go home; bringing an end to one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. The six of us were like one big family. Yes, six. My best mate, his girlfriend (who is Hayley's best friend) and their son, Hayley, me and Leona. During the course of the week, we had made plans to do things together; all of us. We plan to go on holiday together at some point, possibly abroad. We all, even, had the same idea of me moving in with Hayley and moving onto the same street as our friends. I seemed to be the only one that didn't have this idea, and I'm beginning to think that Hayley didn't come up with it either. After thinking about the events of last week, as well as things that have been said in the past couple of months, I'm beginning to think that our friends are trying to set me and Hayley up. Too soon to tell, though.

Anyway, because my best mate is moving in with his fiancee, I didn't mention that and I'm too lazy to go over it all and change it, they're having a house warming party at the weekend. No doubt I'll end up staying longer again, lol. I'll be sure to update as soon as I can when I'm back.

Considering my mood over the last couple of days, I think that this entry is rather cheerful. I admit that it has brought a little smile to my face to remember what has happened.

With Christmas over and done with, we have the New Year to look forward to. My previous New Years have aways started bad. I think that it is because of my attitude, but only time will tell. If this is the case, then 2009 looks like it's going to be starting very well. That's right, I'm still keeping with the brand new me. It has served me well so far. The great thing about it is that I have hardly changed, it's just my outlook on things that has.

The Christmas period is usually when a lot of people have parties, but sadly this has not been the case this year. I did, however, go to a party at my sisters. I wasn't planning on staying long, but when do things ever go to plan, lol. I had a fun night, though I didn't drink much. Because no one had a baby sitter, we had my nephew, Jaden, and my cousins baby, Peter, or as we call him "Spiderman" (since his surname is Parker). Jaden is just over 10 months and Peter is only 4 months old. We also had my sister, Sophie, for a little while, but she wasn't there long. Jaden was in a loving mood all night, perhaps because he was tired. He was giving out kisses to everyone, even to Peter, which everyone thought was really sweet. Not long before going, Peter got really ratty and wouldn't settle. That was until he came to me. Between Jaden and Peter, I know why I want to be a dad.

After people left, there was only me, my eldest sister, her mate and one of my mates left. Me and my mate weren't going to go up to the club, but we somehow ended up going. It was a good job, really, because we weren't ready to end the night. Once we got to the club, there was much dancing. We bumped into my cousin up there, but we didn't stay with them. If people couldn't find me, all they had to do was look on the dance floors, I was there somewhere. They had a hard time keeping me from dancing, lol. I bumped into an ex of mine, one of the ones I remained friends with. We danced a bit, quickly caught up on some things but soon parted ways.

The night soon came to a close, we started to get tired. We left the club and went back to my sisters to chill out for a bit before the walk home. My sister doesn't live far from the club, so it only seemed logical. That's when things really came to a close. My sister and her friend started to sort themselves out for bed, leaving me and my friend downstairs. We didn't stay long before deciding to "get a stomp on", lol. It was a fun night, and I'm glad I stayed out.

Next stop, New Years Eve round my cousins.

Wow, it's been a month since my last entry. I really need to keep up with this.

Since my last entry, I have moved out of my mum's and into my sisters. This move was more for me than anyone else, I desperately needed a break from home. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement, at least to begin with. In some ways, it was better than living at home, but in others it was worse. It certainly made me appreciate how I had things at home.

There were times when I was adamant about moving back home. I was going to do it there and then. I was being exploited, basically, but it was more to do with lack of organisation than anything else. My sister is not the most organised of people, and so I was the only person available to look after my nephew in the mornings. There were times when she got others to look after him, which was good. There were a few problems, but we worked through these.

I've moved back home, now, anyway. Since coming back, my attitude has changed, and it seems the attitudes of my mum and Sophie have changed. It's been rather pleasent, and I've been a lot calmer. Things have really been looking up, as of late. I have had a couple of problems, lately, but with my new outlook, I've been fine with them. The old me would've been somewhat... emo about it, apparently.

With Christmas coming, there is Christmas cheer whereever I look. It's a refreshing feeling to see so many people getting along where usually they wouldn't. Also, over the next few days, I will be busy with visits, so I might not be online all that much, mainly from Christmas Day onwards, but I will be around. I'm never far away.

In case you were thrown by the unsually up-beat entry, I am actually happy, for once. I'm not sure what has gone on to bring this one on, but I'm glad it has. There has been no arguments since coming home, so I'm more relaxed, I'm calmer and have only had to raise my voice just a couple of times (to be heard from another room or very brief moment of annoyance). It has been strange, though, I've actually been feeling good about doing housework. Where this strange new feeling will take me is anyone's guess; where ever it takes me, it'll be interesting.

In case I don't get another entry done before hand, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, everyone.

I had planned on making an entry before now, but I got distracted. I got myself a new XB360, finally. It's only taken me the best part of a year. You have no idea how out of practice I am on a all my games. I've been getting myself reaquainted, which explains why I haven't made an entry.

I have, now, moved in with my sister. This is only a temporary thing, though, but we'll see how things go. Unfortunately, the connection here is intermittent, at best, so it's unlikely that I will be able to get online much, until the issue is resolved.

Anyway, I know this is only a short entry, but it's cheerful in comparison to my latest entries.

After the last entry, I had tried to get an early night, for me at least. I went to bed at approximately 1:20am, I caught up on a bit of reading before finally bedding down for the night at about 2 am. I didn't even get chance to fall asleep before my nephew started crying. We were looking after him because his mum was out having a few drinks. Poor thing, she deserves a break with everything that has gone on. Jaden, my nephew, had been ill for the past few days. Anyway, I helped my mum sort him out and finally got back to bed at around 3 am. I couldn't get to sleep. The last I knew, it was 4 am. I had just fallen back to sleep when I got woken up by my mum asking me to keep an eye on my nephew while her and my sister spoke to the police. I finally got back to bed, again, at about 5 am. Again, it took me a while to get to sleep, and it didn't last long before I was woken up by my other sister's alarm going off. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep.

The police were called because my sister has been having problems her other half. He's been abusive towards her, physically, mentally, verbally and emotionally, and she's had enough of it.

After I gave up on sleep, I went down stairs and tried to wake up. This wasn't exactly possible with a house full. Given what had been going on, I kept my cool. Things were going ok for a while, until people started to disperse. We were left with just me, mum, my nephew and my eldest sister. I was on my way back from having a chat in the kichen when I fell. Now, I know there was nothing in my way when I put my foot down, but when I went to step forward, my progress was impeded by the cat, of all things. As a result, I landed heavily on my right arm. Since then, I've been having difficulties moving my arm. We were worried that it was broken, but today I've realised that it's not. I can now move it, but it's very stiff and I still get some pains.

Yesterday went on without arguments, which is surprising, but they were all saved for today.  It's taken me more than an hour to write this much, as I've been in arguments. I better wrap this up.

Hopefully I'll have some better news soon

It's been a while since I updated, so I thought I'd give it a go and see what I can do. Unfortunately, there haven't been many good things to talk about.

Since my last entry, I've had to deal with loads of things that I really could've done without. There are some things that ruined relationships, others have stressed them. I won't go into details.

For a while, things were moving quite smoothly. Me and Shelley were happy, for a while. The week before my birthday, I went to see a friend for her birthday. Now, I've known this friend for about eight years. I told Shelley about my plans, and, for a while, she was ok with it. A few days before I was due to go, she accused me of seeing another woman, she reckoned I was down there to be with my friend. I was, but not in the way Shelley thought. Needless to say, we didn't last much longer. She's spoken to me a few times since then, and she's still in love with me. There have been times when I've thought about taking her back, but that's because at the time I was feeling rather down.

Before me and Shelley split up, i made friends with a woman I used to serve when I worked at Blockbuster. We've been seeing a lot of each other, but I can assure you that there is nothing more to it, we're just good friends. I would be lying if I said I'd complain if we turned out to be anything more, though.

Lately, though, things have gotten confusing.A couple of old flames have come back on the scene. One of them isn't a problem, because she's already with someone, although she has told me of her feelings for me. The other... well, she's more of a problem. Recently, she wondered why she let me go, and I'm finding myself drawn back to her. After Shelley, though, I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship yet.

On a lighter note, my depression is not as severe as it was. Hopefully soon it will be gone. I've also been thinking about doing a massive Final Fantasy playthrough; starting with FFIV and working my way up to FFXII. I'll be doing regular updates on here. I'll try for daily updates, but I might end up doing it every 2 or 3 days.

Anyway, I think this will do for now, I have other things to do while I have the time.

A few entries ago, I came up with a reason as to why I haven't been myself; the whole Shelley/Nicky issue. During a discussion with someone, who also has strong feelings for (where are they all coming from), I realised something that I almost wish I hadn't.

Just over two years ago (3 days more than 2 years to be precise) I was asked to go out clubbing, but I didn't have the money. I wish I did, but it was another week before I got paid. A few of my friends were out, but one of them didn't want to be out. Darran Baker had been going through a rough patch. I don't know the full details of it all, and I never thought to ask; at the time Darran and I weren't talking much. Something might've happened between me and his ex at the aforementioned club. To this day, I'm not sure if something did happen.

The next day, anotehr friend stopped me in the street. Rather tactlessly, he asked me "How's your black suit?" I told him I didn't own one then asked why. To which his reply was "Because Slag died half hour ago in hospital." Slag was the name we had given to Darran, rather affectionately, it was never a derogatory name. He died because of an ecstacy overdose. It was revealed in the papers the next day that the pills were a rather bad batch of 'Pink Speckled Kangaroos'.

My first stop was work, which at the time was Blockbuster Entertainment, to let them known that I might not be working. I went in and went behind the counter. In a rather cheerful voice, because it hadn't hit me yet, I told them that I wouldn't be in. They asked why and I told them; which is when I felt the blood drain from my entire body. I felt cold all over and i could feel the tears threaten to burst forth.

On my way home, I made it my duty to inform the friends of his that would not have known yet. Not more than a few minutes later, I got a phone call from the dad of one of them, asking if I could come round; so I did. My friend, Kelly, was in a state, she kept asking me if it was true. I so wanted to tell her that it wasn't true, but I couldn't. I wished it was a lie, as I still do now.

After I left and got to the sanctity of my house, after holding it in for nearly an hour at this point, I couldn't do it anymore; the flood gates opened and I was immobilised. I could not stop myself from crying. I was worried about work. I didn't know if I should go in or not, but I ended up not going. I appologised the next day and they were ok with it, they hadn't expected me to work. On the day Darran died, I ended up in the pub. Mum thought I needed a drink, and I was too upset to disagree.

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At approximately 11:30 am on 23rd July 2006, Darran Baker died from an overdose of Ecstacy. Though it was stupid, he will still be missed dearly. He was a good friend to all and a great laugh to be with.

To Darran, I say our love is with you and you have never been forgotten. Remember, we'll meet you by porno bush when I get there (private joke)

I have 20 minutes to write this entry, before I watch either Batman Begins, Chronicles of Riddick, Tremors or Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me... tough choice.

After the other night, when my plans got cancelled, I decided that I needed a few drinks. It worked out alright because it was my cousins 21st  yesterday. I already got a crate of Strongbow for the house party, but it was left unopened, so I decided to have a few before I went down to my cousins party. I walked down with my third drink and finished it just before I went inside. The first thing I did was stow my stuff and search out my cousin to wish her a happy birthday. Pleasantries done with, I went in search of the pool table. I love playing that.

After finding the pool table, I found my mum, no surprises there. I managed to get my game of pool before too long, luckily because I wasn't at the party for long. It was a relatively short night. I managed to get one more drink. By the end of the night, I had 5 drinks, which wasn't bad. I wasn't drunk, just a bit merry. When I got home, I got myself a cuppa tea and sat on the internet for a while.

Went to bed at almost 5 am, got up about 6 hours later, hangover free.

Anyway, my mind has been made up for me, Batman has begun...

Why do I bother making plans? Something always goes wrong to throw them out og the window.

Since the weekend, I've had ideas on what to do to help my friend, Sarah, cheer up after her boyfriend split up with her last week. Last weekend went great, when I left her, she was smiling; success.

At the weekend, Sarah said something that sparked an idea off. She said that she would like to go and see Wall-e. It would've worked out perfectly, because I wanna see that. I was planning on taking her to see it today, but with it being the day it comes out in the cinema, getting in might've proved to be problematic, so I opted to take her to see it tomorrow. Tomorrow night, I was going to take her to my cousins birthday party, meeting people would lift her spirits. Tonight, I was going to take her round my cousins and have a few drinks.

This is where things started going wrong. First of all, Sarah is out tomorrow, from about 2 pm. She's at a house party out of town. Which is fair enough, these plans have been made a while. It does put a stop to the plans I had for her tomorrow, but I don't want to spoil her plans. Tonight, she's having a house party of her own, so my plans to take her to my cousins weren't needed, she invited me round. I've been looking foward to this.

Big mistake...

I started getting ready to go at about 6pm. The plan was that Sarah would let me know when people were turning up. I waited. After a while, I started to send her the odd text to find out when things were happening. I wasn't getting replies, so I soon thought it was time to start with the pone calls. I've had no luck with the phone calls, so I'm sitting at my laptop writing this entry, my lift down is now non-existent so I'd have to walk down if Sarah does contact me. Because my plans have gone up shit street, I'm not in a very good mood.

I am actually online on MSN and Yahoo, but I'm not appearing online on either of them. I may talk to people, but then I might be too busy writing. I don't have that many nights out, so I look forward to every one I have. When my plans get ruined, I do get annoyed.

So anyway, another night in for me...

Have you ever thought that there is something wrong? Ever been bothered by some unknown factor? Ever worried about something you're not sure of? Have you ever realised what it was the next day?

For the last few days, some people have noticed that I've not quite been myself. They're not the only one's, I've noticed it myself. I've been feeling very down lately. I've been feeling down today, but I have not long realised why. I feel like I've upset someone close to me; someone I care for, a lot.

For ages I have had feelings for Shelley. I've helped her through a tough time with a stalker that wouldn't take no for an answer, I've given her the strength to carry on and I've stood by her when everyone turned against her. She's known of my feelings for some time, but I only admitted it to her recently.

Since admitting it to Shelley, there has been someone else come on the scene; girl that I mentioned in the entry "ooer", Nicky. Nicky has told me that she loves me and would do anything for me. Now, I know how this is going to sound, but don't read too much into it until I have finished. I do love nicky, but not in the same way she loves me. The love I feel for her is that of a good friend.

I know that Shelley has some sort of feelings for me, because she get's jealous easily when something involves me or another woman, even if it's just a bit of harmless flirting. She won't admit it, but the way she has said that she'd leave me and Nicky to be happy says that isn't happy about it. Not only do I not like Nicky in that way, she is also married; and I have told Shelley this.



So yeah, that's what's been bothering me. I'm not really feeling that bad, just something has been bothering me. I hope this explains why I haven't quite been myself

On deciding that I'de do another entry to make up for not doing one yesterday, I realised that I didn't actually have anything to say. Maybe I should give you a bit of history on me and Sarah.

Me and Sarah first met when I was out one night with my ex, Nicola. Nicola was my ex then, as well. I was invited down to the Snooker Centre, which had Snooker and Pool tables, eight bowling lanes, HD projector TV and, obviously, a bar. I was told to meet them there, so I did. I walked in and straight to the bar. They know what I have so they had my drink already pouring by the time I reached the bar (what service, huh, lol). Anyway, I went and found them bowling. I joined them, but I couldn't join their game, but that didn't matter. As much as I love bowling, I was happy just to be out of the house.

After awkward introductions, everyone got chatting. The introductions were awkward because it was done between goes. Nicola noticed something that I hadn't, which as weird. She noticed that I was checking Sarah out pretty much the whole time. I was pretty conscious about what I was doing after that. The night didn't last long, for one reason or another, it was too long ago to remember correctly. It was more than two years ago, now.

More recently (about a year ago), another ex of mine, Amy, invited me to a metal gig in Norwich, to see her friends Band playing. I wasn't really a fan of metal, but Amy said that she would buy me some drinks and we'd get to meet the guys. I thought I'd give it a go. I met Amy from work, and we waited around for our mate, Darren, to finish work so we could go to his and finish getting ready. I was ready so when we got there, I just sat watching an episode of Top Gear (the one where they drove across America and tried to seel the cars at the end of it) Darren and Amy, who had both not long finished work, had some way to go. After a while, Amy got a phone call, and she sent Darren to pick up her friend, as arranged. While Darren was gone, I asked about Amy's friend. Amy described her to me and said that I'd get along with her.

After a while, Darren returned with Amy's friend. There she was, a short, blonde girl, wearing a pink, leopard print corset and a pair of dark jeans (yes, I remember what she was wearing). Amy introduced us and told me her name was Sarah. At this point, I didn't know where I knew her from, but I knew I knew her somehow. It wasn't long before she figured out where she knew me from, and soon told me. That was it, from this point on, I was on edge. I didn't want to say anything to her incase I sounded like a babbling idiot, so I kept everything simple.

I didn't know it, but it was going to be a random night. We got to Norwich an hour early, the guys were sitting outside, some of them drinking. Amy introduced us to them. I say us because Sarah hadn't met them either. There was Adam (lead guitar), Saxon "Sax" (bass guitar), Simon "Si" (drummer), Tim (guitar) and the Singer, who I could never remember the name of. Before I carry on, the name of the band is "Serillian" and they are the same band I wrote about in the entry "London... but no heat magazine".

I don't know how it came up, but Sarah said that she wanted kids while Amy had her arm around her. Amy spun her round towards me and pushed her into my arms, making a comment about how we would be perfect for each other. First bit of randomness, because I had no idea what was going on. After a while, we were able to go in. First things first, we got some drinks. We headed towards the back room and paid our fee. The door man marked the backs of our hands with permanent marker to allow us to get in and out. We were down there in time to hear one last band play before Serillian's set. The lead singer and guitarist of that band was great, he somehow managed to play even thought he only had one hand, and he played well.

While we were waiting, Amy thought it would be fun to drag us back to the door and grab the pen. She proceeded to write the word "Dude!" on my neck. She grabbed the nearest band member, Sax, and wrote... you guessed it, "Sweet!". The whole "Dude, Sweet" scene from "Dude, where's my car?" was played out there between me and Sax. Amy then used Sarah as a human white board and was writing things all over her. I would tell you what some of them said, but it's better if I don't, lol. The pictures can be found on her Bebo page.

After a great set, and a few drinks with the guys, we made our way home. Getting home was slow going, Darren was almost out of petrol before we even got back into town. We made it just inside the outer limits of town and the tank ran dry. Me and Sarah got out and pushed from the back, Amy pushed from her door and Darren from his. So there we were, pushing a car into town from more than a mile away, at  stupid o'clock in the morning, luckily it was a warm night. Little did I know that I wasn't going to be pushing the car for very long. Darren's leather jacket slipped out of his door and under the wheels. I didn't know until I stood on it and went arse over tit, lol. I rolled along the floor and layed there laughing, Sarah stopped as soon as I fell, as well. Darren and Amy carried on pushing the car, not wanting to lose the momentum, which was fine because I wasn't hurt, unless you count my funny bone being broken because I was in fits of laughter. Me and Sarah were still more than a mile out of town, so we decided to walk the rest of the way, just chatting about the night's events. She was cold, so, being the gentleman that I am, I gave her my coat. When we caught up with the others, they were at the garage (the one mentioned in the "London" entry) trying to find some money. They couldn't find any, so they told us what they were going to do and I told them that I'd walk Sarah home as it was on my way. After a lecture about  looking after Sarah and not trying anything, Amy let us go. She should know I wouldn't do that sort of thing anyway. I walked Sarah home, carrying on our conversation from before. Got to where we had to part ways and she gave me a hug. With a smile on my face, from the entire night, not just the hug, I Phoned Amy and told her that Sarah was safe at home. I carried on and went home myself.

So there you have it, som history about how me and Sarah met. Now to tell you a bit more about her, that I only found out on Saturday night, just proving that I never really spoke to her that much.

Before we went out on Saturday, while we were round our mates, we somehow got talking about a program me and my mate, Sean "Hazard" Harrod (yes, he has connections to Harrod's department store) used to watch, "Dragonball Z", and it turns out that Sarah used to watch it, as well. At this point, my interest in Sarah starts to grow. While we were at the pub, I see a woman wearing a black t-shirt with the red Thundercats logo on the chest. I mentioned it to another mate, Sarah overheard and said she used to watch that as well. I told her, and my mate, about the Thundercats movie that is to come out in 2009, or was it 2010, and then we got onto Transformers, which Sarah also used to watch. My next step is finding out if she used to watch TMNT. Me and my mate have had some pretty random nights; our most memorable being when we spoke all night about anything and everything, then spent 5 hours going back over everything we said in reverse order to find out what we originally spoke about. It was the night we came up with ARAS (A-Team Regional Appreciation Society). Which finally got it's third official member on Saturday Night when Sarah joined. She's into the same sort of things I am, and loves watching the same things as I do.

Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough about Sarah. At this moment, it's taken just over an hour to write this entry. This should make up for the one I missed the other day, lol

This entry was meant for yesterday, so I'll be doing another one later on, if I remember.

Saturday night, I went out. I wasn't planning on it, but there was something go on the other day that upset a good friend of mine, Sarah. Her boyfriend, James, split up with her because he couldn't see the relationship going anywhere, so she needed to get out to take her mind of things. We've not really spoke much before, but we always got on.

Anyway, Sarah wanted to get out friday night, but I was unable to sort anything. I offered to help her get over James, which is why I was left to making arrangements. I managed to sort out about going round my mates. Haven't been round there in ages, so it killed two birds with one stone, as it were. It wasn't long before things changed and we end up going to a pub.

Before we went to the pub, we met up with a woman named Kate. I don't like this woman, really, or her daughter, who ended up with us later on. In the first pub we went to, I ended up in an argument with Kate over the pub policies and laws. The argument didn't last long, and I hardly even looked at her the rest of the night. I wasn't planning on talking to her anyway, considering that every time she ends up out, she constantly picks at me.

It wasn't long before we moved onto the next pub. The first thing Kate asked me was what money I had, but unfortunately I had none. She tried telling me that I couldn't have anything to drink. With my mates, they know that when I get money, I will be paying them back, I will be getting them drinks, taking them bowling and stuff like that. It's a working system we, as mates, have. Her daughter, Kirsty, was getting on at me, asking why I was there because no one likes me. My mate, Neil, soon put them straight telling them that I was invited out.

All in all, though, it was a good night. Sarah was actually smiling and laughing by the end of the night, which was my ultimate aim. Ignoring Kate and Kirsty, they're not important to me, it was a fun night.

Talking of Kate and Kirsty, they haven't known my mates that long, so if they don't like me, they know where to go, because they're going to be seeing a lot more of me. I'm not going to stop going out because a spoilt brat and her slag of a mother  don't like me.

Just updating the situations

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Well, the argument seems to be mostly over. Those that were arguing are not longer talking. I'm finding stuff out about the one that I had a history with, stuff that I wasn't surprised at, but still didn't want to know. I'll leaving things be, hopefully the situation will resolve itself further on it's own.

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I didn't scare the girl I was talking to off, it turns out the her computer decided it didn't like something she did and decided to kick her off and not let her back on.

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So yeah, just a short entry, but it's better than nothing. I thought I'd make it a bit more upbeat than the last one, even though it wasn't that bad, lol.

Since my last entry, I've had a lot to deal with...

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I've been dragged into an argument between some good friends all because of my past with one of them. I was not the subject of the argument, thankfully. I don't know the specifics but there was something about pictures mentioned, nude pictures of the one I have a history with. I got dragged into it by her latest ex when he accused me of sending nude pictures of her to another friend who she had been arguing with. I never had these photos, so I have no idea what he is playing at. I've had her giving my ears a bashing because of this accusation, but I finally managed to clear things up, there. Since then, I have found out that the lad that dragged me into it was on cam with the one I was accused of sending pictures to, and I know exactly what was going on there, because I know what she is like.

As it stands right now, no one is talking to the one that had the photos taken, except for me and, I found out early hours of this morning, her ex. she is using him to spy on the others and has sworn me to secrecy. I am carrying this secret around and it is starting to eat me up inside because I'm seeing what's going on and the others are trusting him entirely too much. I'll be speaking to a certain person later and I'll be telling her that I cannot sit idly by while she does this. It isn't the first time she's done this.

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I've been getting rather close to someone for a short time now, and we have got to the point where we've shared past experiences with relationships. She shared her troubled past over the past seven years, and I've shared mine over the past four (since August 2004). She wasn't very talkative last night when I spoke to her, there had been things going on over her end. She got booted off the net last night, so I'm not sure when she'll get back. I'm hoping that it's not too long, but I do get the feeling that I have scared her off.

Let's hope this is not the case.

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So anyway, it all seems to be happening for me, right now. let's hope I have some better news in my next entry, lol


Oh, before I go, one bit of good news that tops everything else that has happened, I've heard that my sister wants me to be my nephew's godfather.

It's been a while since my last entry, so I thought I better make one. It's only going to be short, nor will it contain much detail.

Firstly, I've never been all that popular with the ladies; that's not me putting myself down, it's an observation. However, recently, I have become increasingly popular in a chatroom I go in. I often have women telling me how they feel about me. At the last count, it was 10 women. I do nothing to encourage it, nor do I discourage it, they have the right to feel how they want. Some of it, though, is unwanted, such as that of a 16 year old who keeps hounding me inspite of my efforts to change her mind. I don't want to get rid of her, because she was a friend before she told me which means more to me.

At the weekend, I got myself a webcam. It was only a cheap one, but it certainly does the trick, and it's a clear picture. I got it as part of a deal with my mum. My sister, Sophie, has a God Father over in America and has been unable to talk to him. The webcam has a built in microphone so she will be able to talk to him.

I've also been taken of my depression medication, the doctor said that I no longer need them. He didn't want to put me on them in the first place, and nor did I want them. I am still waiting on my counseling sessions, though.

The job front is still not looking good, but hopefully it won't be that way for long.

Anyway, I went into a bit more detail than I had expected, but it was still short. I will try to make another entry soon.

Many people know that I enjoy writing, but none of them know how I got into it. I thought that it was time to change that. This is how things went down.

I started out writing in school, though I didn't know it then. My English teacher was always interested in what I was doing. This was evident by the fact that no matter how much me and my mate mucked around together, he left us to it because we worked well together. He was constantly praising my work, saying that I had a strong start and a good imagination. He did sometimes complain about the fact that I got too carried away with some things, though, lol.

After he left, my interest in writing plummeted. Me and my mate didn't have the same freedom as we did, so my work actually suffered. It wasn't until a few years later that my interest in writing came flooding back. I was babysitting at the time, and I had been drinking with the parents after they came home. It was after 1 that I got in and started work on my second story, which no one has read. It currently sits at approximately 42 chapters, spread out over more than 100 pages. Before this though, I had been working on a story that contained me and my friends. I wasn't being serious with it, at all (I was working on this one at the fall of the Twin Towers). I worked constantly on my story, never happy with my style (I used to use mainly dialogue), but I wanted to get the basic idea down. I was focused on one character the entire time, never deviating for too long.

Again, my story got benched. I got into Role Playing (RPing), where we, me and some online friends, created character bios to post on forums in the form of a story RPing is the method I used to develop my writing skills, gradually moving from basic, dialogue driven stories to detail stories contain little or no actual dialogue. I got a good look at the writing styles of other people and could see what was wrong with it and where.

After a few years of RPing, I slowly got back into writing my own stories. This was sped along when I saw a story one of my friends wrote about a girl that was part of a cult, Aiko Getsumei. Aiko was a character created by my friend to use in an RP, as Kitty Pride was. The first part was poorly written, in my eyes, as my style has changed and grown. It got good feedback, though, so I must've been doing something right. The good feedback has encouraged me to write more, and I seem to have people hooked on the idea that a cat can save a persons life, and how it was achieved. Since then, I've written two more full parts, as well as the first part of a fourth (it was longer than the other three combined so I thought I should stop it there). The fourth one is, at the moment, in two parts (part 4.1 and part 4.2).

So there you have it, how I got into writing. If it is wanted, I will soon write a complete bibliography, which will contain works that no one has seen. It will not be all that detailed, unfortunately, as I am note sure of dates, it's going to be hard enough remembering the years, lol.

Anyway, catch ya next time

Don't worry, it has nothing to do with fruit, though I wouldn't be suprised if there was some fruit there.

I would say it all started on Saturday, but really it started on Friday for me. Friday night, to be exact. I got a phone call at about 9 pm from a mate of mine, asking if I wanted to go out. I didn't really have a choice in the matter, but that didn't matter, I wanted to go out. I found out that an ex friend was there, someone that told me where to go some time back just because I didn't invite her to a party, but I digress. I knew this day was coming, it has been for a while. So, within the hour, I was out down the pub with my mates. I must've drank more than I thought, because I was kind of drunk.

While I had been getting ready, I had been talking to someone by texts. This was for a couple of reasons, one of which was to waste my credit and the other was because there was something that I thought she needed to know. By the time I had made it to the pub and finished my first pint, I had told her what I wanted to tell her. Not telling her wasn't doing me any good. Anyway, this entry is not about that, it's meant to be a happy entry as I've not done one in a while.

As the night went on, I began to have more fun. I wasn't planning on going up to the club, but I ended up there anyway. The fun carried on as expected. We danced and drank some more. I bumped into a friend of mine, and she was having problems with some lads always trying to dance with her. She spotted me dancing near her and we ended up dancing together, no words were said, but we both knew it was to keep the other lads away from her. Under different circumstances, I would've liked it to be more than that. This sort of thing went on all night. We'd lose each other and find each other again. It wasn't hard, we were always on the dance floor.

The night drew to a close, but that didn't mean that the fun was over. For the weekend, it was just beginning...

Saturday was interesting, to say the least. I woke up with a headache, but that was because I went to bed late. That was soon sorted out after I necked a painkiller. I didn't make it over to Strawberry Fair until the afternoon, but that didn't matter, there was still plenty of time until they stopped. Took me a while to find my friends. Before I found my mates, I bumped into the girl I was dancing with last night. After a quick hello, I was on my way to find my friends. As fair as variety goes, there wasn't much to do there. You could listen to any music you wanted and there was live bands. Often talent scouts attended Strawberry Fair and there have been signings. Newton Faulkner, for example, was signed at last years Strawberry Fair. There was many different stalls and you can get pretty much anything you wanted, and I do mean anything.

As time drew on, I drank more. I didn't get completely drunk, which is surprising with the amount I drank. I got talked into buying some boots, but I didn't need much convincing. They only cost me £10, which wasn't bad. They were originally £20, but they had already come down in price before I got there. As the night started to draw in, we found ourselves a little spot to park ourselves for the rest of the night close to the main stage. I wanted to get up and dance, but no one else was in the mood and I wasn't about to risk losing the others in the thousands of people that were in attendance. Because of that, I decided to sit there and dance where I was. I ended up dancing until ten minutes after the music stopped because I was just so into it, lol.

Once I realised the music had stopped, there was talk of heading back to my friends, who only lived across the river. I was soon going to be sleeping anyway. It was a nice night, so I wouldn't have minded sleeping where I was.

In the morning, my mate cooked a fry up for all of us. We went around the town for a few hours after breakfast and it wasn't long before we started going our seperate ways.

Overall, it was a fun weekend.

This is only going to be a short entry, just to let you know I'm still around. Unfortunately, I've had a lot go on. In my last entry I mentioned my sick aunty being in a bad way, or so we were told. Well, about a week ago, she passed away. I now have to get to Manchester for Sunday so I can attend the funeral on Monday. To do that, I must get hold of £61 for the train, but I'm finding that difficult. A friend of mine has offered to lend me the money to get up there, but I haven't known her that long and I wouldn't feel comfortable borrowing off her. I wouldn't feel comfortable borrowing of anyone, really, never do.

On a different note, because I don't want to get bogged down just talking about one thing, my home life, right now, has been turned upside down. For a while, we've known we're getting a new kitchen and bathroom, but we have been waiting on the confirmation letter. On Friday, a carpenter turns up to do some measuring and informs us that they're starting on Monday. After he left, we had to get majorly busy with sorting the whole of the down stairs. Because it was stressful, there were constant arguements. Come Sunday night, we were mostly done. Monday morning was a bit of a problem, however. The workmen arrived at about 8:30 am, at this time I was still asleep. Within moments, I was woken to news that they had to get into the bedrooms to gheck the plugs and lights, which for me meant moving furniture around. Now, because of the weekend, a lot of the stuff from downstairs had been shoved upstairs, so we were rushing around on Monday morning shifting things around. As I write this, the workmen are busy cutting and plastering, still got a way to go. We've even heard rumours that it ill take longer than expected. Great, just what we needed...

So there we have it, I'll try to make another entry soon, but I'm not making any promises.